Friday, February 21, 2014

Why Women Nag, and Why It Means They Love You

I was listening to a drama show on radio today, and a caller said her husband left her because she nagged 
too much. I started to reflect on the many times I think nagged my husband, and it dawned on me 
that at the time I  was having my way with words, I actually had good intentions. And yet, there he was, 
probably having second thoughts of staying married. Hehe.

I have read and heard quite a lot about why women should NOT nag their boyfriends and hubbies, why it's not a good thing, and why it can destroy relationships. 

Is nagging that bad that boyfriends and husbands leave their beloved damsels just because of it?

Hmmm... Let me try to offer a different perspective, and then maybe we can all look at nagging in a new light.

1. Women nag because they are frustrated. Do you remember the last time your wife reminded you to 
put your dirty clothes in the hamper, and not on the first surface your eyes lay on? Do you remember the last 
time she asked you to pick up something from the grocery store, and you totally forgot about it (for the nth 

Your wife sees you as a responsible adult, and when you do not step up and fulfill the little tasks she delegates 
to you, it is just natural that she gets irritated. And come to think of it, it's not like she brings out the 
'armalite' the first time you forget to do something. But do the 'forgetting' often, and you will surely hear from 
her.  Not because she hates you, but because she's frustrated. Say sorry, and from that point forward
... make remembering a habit. 

2. Women nag because they have so much in their mind. Women are more adept at multitasking then men. 
Unfortunately (for us girls), this ability also means we have to 'multi-think'. We have to hold so many worries 
in our tired brains; the household budget, what to cook for dinner later, work deadlines, the kids' 
assignments, our  painful period, your needs, her needs, everyone else's needs - yes, we can think 
of all that at the same time. While our hands are busy doing housework or making the monthly presentation at 
the office, we're trying to solve the world's problems in our overworked minds. Don't even ask 
why we do that...that's just how we're wired. So next time your woman nags, pause for a moment, and help her 'unload' her 
brain from all that, not just walk out like a petulant teenager. You are a MAN after all. 

3.  Women nag because they've tried every other way to make you move. Somehow connected to 
number 1, once women have pretty much exhausted other 'nicer' alternatives like telling you sweetly, sending 
you a text message, writing you a letter, making 'parinig'... Well anyone's bound to explode when they have 
tried all means and you just wouldn't budge from your self-inflicted stupor.  Don't wait to get to that point. 
Get a clue by the second try, won't you please?

4. Women nag because they are looking out for your welfare...and love you with a passion. You would 
think your wife or girlfriend has no business meddling with the way you drive, she's not the one behind the 
wheel after all! Well, newsbreak honey, road rage is a reality, especially in the hostile roads of Manila. 
Do you think it doesn't matter to us if you came home with a split lip and a blackeye just because you honked 
out the guy who cut you in traffic? We nag about these things because we care. We want you to be safe, avoid
danger whenever possible, and keep a cool head because that is what real men who love their women and 
families do.

See? We're not bringing out the 'oral armalite' because we do not respect your manhood. We don't always 
nag because we want to be in control. We have our reasons, valid ones at that. They may not be easy to see 
and appreciate when we're shouting our heads off going berserk, but they exist - and they're real. 

So the next time your woman nags, try to think about these four reasons, take a deep breath, give her a big hug,
say sorry...and get your arse moving.  :) And if we do cross the line from giving you that loving lecture to being a horrendous nag, then do tell us...when we've already exhausted all the 'angst' brewing inside. I guarantee you that once we have poured out all the pent-up emotions, we'll be more open to listening to you. 

And you know what, a woman knows when she did something wrong, she knows full when she made a mistake, and if you can gently address this, then she will be more than happy to make it up to you. :)


  1. Yes to all you said. And also, if a man leaves a woman because he "thinks she's a nag," she should let him go. She doesn't need a guy like that.

    --> Maita @ Mrs. Diaz

  2. Iniisip ko tuloy if it's the other way around. Does that mean I don't love my husband enough? Haha.

    1. If it's the other way around... then you love your husband just as much, you just show it in a different way. :)

      It's just that 'nagging' is always taken as a negative. People tend to forget that there's a person and a reason behind all the nagging - and na posibleng may pinaghuhugutan din naman yung nagger kaya nya yun nagagawa. Not a justification for anything excessive though. :D

    2. I think I get you, because my mom seems to be a nagger (in moderation) I guess, because when I recall back when I still live there, she doesn't do it all the time. And at those times that I remember her "nagging" it kinda makes sense.

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